Interview with Aubrey Moore
In this episode, we will uncover 3 keys:
- The Power of ‘Self-Dating’
- Navigating Intimacy Beyond Taboos
- Mind-Body Harmony in Intimacy
A Podcast Transcription
Episode 36: Sex & intimacy coach~Aubrey Moore: Build relationship confidence by tuning into your sexual rhythm
Intro
Aubrey Moore: (00:33)
Thank you. Thank you so much, my love. It’s so nice to be here.
Odiva Vasell: (00:36)
Yes, I’m happy to have you here. This is the first time we’ve had this discussion on Fempreneur International, and I just want to create a safe space, not only for you but for anybody listening where there is no judgment. And we’re open to discussing everything that is going to be so helpful for us in our journey in self-care.
Aubrey Moore: (01:05)
Yeah.
Odiva Vasell: (01:08)
And I want to just make the listener aware. If you do feel judgment on anything that you hear today, take a moment to just be aware of where you do feel tension or any kind of resistance to this topic so that you can open up your field and your energy levels to the next level.
Aubrey Moore: (01:31)
Beautifully said. Yes.
Odiva Vasell: (01:33)
So I like to start at the beginning. Tell us how you got started, and what is your official title?
The Power of ‘Self-Dating’
Aubrey Moore: (01:40)
Yeah. Okay. Well, my official title is a sex and intimacy coach. And in order to claim that title, sometimes I also claim a certified clinical sexologist. They were accrued in the same certificate program. So in order to claim those titles, I had to go through a sex coaching certification program that was about a year and a half long. And over the last three years, I’ve gone to tons of different consent workshops. I loved how you just opened up our session together with the safe space and inviting the listeners into our safe space, because that’s a really big piece of exploring sexuality for many of us. We can’t really surrender to exploration and self-acceptance and self-love if we don’t feel safe. So that’s my title. And the first question was, how did I get started? Right.
Odiva Vasell: (02:51)
Yes.
Aubrey Moore: (02:52)
So how did I get started in coaching?
Odiva Vasell: (02:54)
Yes, sexuality specifically.
Aubrey Moore: (03:00)
Yeah. Well, it’s kind of interesting because I kind of feel like I have been a sex coach for a long time. I just didn’t have the title. I was the friend in the friend group, in my various friend groups throughout different stages of life that people would ask sex questions to, or when they had an exciting sexual experience, they would be like, “Aubrey, oh, my gosh. I have to tell,” you know, because I think I provide a safe, trusting, non-judgmental space for them to share their experiences and not feel like they’re going to be judged. Right. And I have a quick story for you. Years and years ago, maybe like eight or nine years ago, way before I thought sex coaching was. I didn’t even know it was a thing to do. I was on a date with a woman, and we were back at my house, and we were going into some sexual activity. And then she opened up and said, “I’ve never actually done this before. I’m a virgin.” And I said, “Oh, well, that’s exciting.” And so I actually ended up teaching this woman how to masturbate, which was kind of interesting. And so I kind of feel like I’ve been a sex coach for a long time, and I just didn’t know it. Yeah.
Odiva Vasell: (04:34)
Something that came naturally to you. I read where you said that in your city or your community, it was something that people didn’t talk about. But your parents also encouraged you.
Aubrey Moore: (04:52)
Yeah, my mother. I grew up in Kansas. Our sex education, just like many others in the country, was very nondescript and pretty lackluster. It really focused on some important parts, which were how babies are made and STIs. Those are important things to learn. But in terms of learning about my own body, I didn’t feel quite as encouraged by my public school sex education to do that. However, my mother, who is just an amazing woman to this day, she’s such a role model for me. She was very open about our sexual conversations growing up. And again, bringing back in safety made me feel safe to go to her for questions, to go to her when I had experiences that scared me. And so that reinforced that it was okay to explore my own sexuality because of that guidance and that level of safety and openness. So I seriously doubt I would be doing what I’m doing today if she didn’t do that.
Odiva Vasell: (06:19)
Wonderful. And I want to discuss a little bit the difference between. But this is the thing. I find that when people hear the word sex, they immediately think that they know what they know, and that’s all there is. And it’s so complicated. Like everything about the human body or the human mind, there is health. There is emotional connection. There is just a way of expressing yourself. There’s art and creativity. There’s so many factors about it. But it seemed like many of us, as women, become disconnected from the real us and connected to kind of a stereotype or a society description of what sex is. How do you separate women from their identity or what they think they’re supposed to be sexually and who they really are?
Aubrey Moore: (07:19)
Yeah, that’s a really beautiful question, because you’re right. We are all so beautifully diverse in how we’re built and how we operate, that our sexuality and how we experience sex or sexual experiences is just as vast. I like to say that our sexuality is kind of like our fingerprints. They’re so different from one another. So one of the best avenues that I have found in my own life and what I use as the basis of my work with other women is self-pleasure. Or if that kind of word, because sometimes the word masturbation also is, like, sticky for some people. So self-pleasure seems a little softer. Or you could think of it as just spending time with yourself. Especially for women who, like you said, as we grow up, and men have this, too, in their own way, as we grow up, we are put into different roles through our different conditionings and societal conditionings. Right. So when I was in college, I was put into the role of student and of athlete and female athlete. And then when I got out, I was put into the role of girlfriend or wife, or we get put into the role of mothers. And so all these different roles that we end up playing in. And sometimes it can be difficult to then really take a step, kind of like a macro look and be like, well, who actually am I? What do I actually like and like to experience? Because I’ve been in some of these roles for so long. So the best way, one of the best avenues that I have experienced myself and that I use with other women is finding time where you can spend just with yourself, not with your kids. Yeah. Not with your husband, not with your friends, just you doing whatever you want.
Odiva Vasell: (09:35)
Wow. And that’s beautiful because I can understand that that releases some of the pressure, because there’s so much pressure. For example, as you mentioned, a woman who is raising kids, and she’s just super busy and her body, her life is on the back burner, in a way, and she feels like she’s doing the right thing because she’s self-sacrificing. But at the end of the day, she’s really self-sacrificing.
Aubrey Moore: (10:01)
Yeah. Most of the time when some of my past clients, if they’ve gotten to this point where they’re like, “Okay, I now know that, okay, I’ve had some kids now, but they’re getting a little bit older, so I’d like to start reconnecting with what I want to do again.” But there’s been such a gap. Right. And this is what happened in my life, too. I don’t have children, but I was stuck in some other roles. And there was such a gap between when I knew what I wanted, and then I didn’t really think about that for a long time. I put everybody else’s needs before myself, people-pleasing and stuff. So then I was like, “Where do I start? How do I even start to begin to understand what is it that I like and what is it that I want without the influence of my boyfriend or my friends or Facebook, whatever.” And so that’s why spending time alone, and particularly for women who aren’t really sure what they want in the bedroom, right. It’s important to spend time with yourself naked and touching your body, and figuring out that kind of helps that connection with your body again, too.
Odiva Vasell: (11:21)
And I’ve done some reading up about this to prepare for meeting here, and a lot of it was factual information, more and more scientific information, and that’s good. But one of the things that I started to recognize is the health benefits of, I mean, when you start to disconnect from your body, and your body is just this machine that you are using to get from one place to another, and then you’re eating whatever you need to just get to the next day, you’re kind of, I guess, having an out-of-body experience, which lasts for years, where you’re not connected to yourself. And the sexual pleasure is a way of communicating with yourself. And there be, I think it’s not endorphins, but the other. Dopamine. Dopamine, I think it becomes…
Aubrey Moore: (12:18)
Dopamine. Oxytocin is another one.
Odiva Vasell: (12:21)
That’s the one that we really need on a regular basis.
Aubrey Moore: (12:26)
Absolutely. It lowers your stress. It helps you sleep. It helps you with self-acceptance. It’s another way to care for yourself. And like you said, our bodies are vehicles for us in this life, right? They don’t last forever. And so the longer we stay disconnected, the longer you would stay disconnected from your body. And kind of, I think you said, like, using it really, I think the harder it can become to then reconnect with it when you need to the most. Like when you’re sick, when you get a sickness or something or when you’re really sore or when you sprain something, those are the times when we pay attention to our bodies because then it’s not operating the way that we want it to.
Odiva Vasell: (13:23)
Right. That time where it’s like a little too late, you find that you’re sick, and you don’t know what’s happening. And the possibility could be that you’ve been disconnected from your body, from your emotions, from pleasure for so long that it’s just inside you and come out in the wrong way, which is pain.
Aubrey Moore: (13:44)
Yeah. Outside of my title, sex intimacy coach. So some people think like, “Oh, so she’s going to teach me sexual positions and stuff like that.” And sure, that can be a part of it, but 99% of the time, it’s helping women understand their bodies again, and not just finding pleasure within their own bodies, but then that type of pleasure and that type of bodily understanding transfers to every other aspect of their life. I’ll give you an example. So I’m writing a book right now, and it’s about self-pleasure. It doesn’t have a title yet, but it’s probably going to be something about the art of self-pleasure. And it’s basically about my own experience with self-pleasure. And I logged, like, a detailed account of four specific nights where I took myself on a date. I gave myself the same amount of time and energy and space that I would give another person if I went on a date with them, basically. But I did it for myself. And in the book, I write about everything that I used. And basically, it’s like a step by step. And I also talk about how those experiences not only gave me a ton of sexual pleasure, but also how it affected me outside of life or outside of the bedroom. So, for example, if friends of mine are asking me to go to a bar or asking me to go to a concert or something, instead of automatically saying yes, which is what I used to do and sometimes still do, but my people-pleasing patterns would come back up. I would try to take a breath, tune into my body, because now I know what my body’s yes feels like and what my body’s no feels like, because I’ve experimented a lot with that.
Odiva Vasell: (15:50)
Wow.
Aubrey Moore: (15:52)
So it was a lot easier for me to then actually give an answer that was from a full heart. Like, “Yes, I feel very capable, energetically, to take you to the airport today. Absolutely.” Or if I was like, “Actually, I’m really tired. I have a lot of work. Unfortunately, I can’t go out with you guys tonight, but have a good time.” So it helped me discern, make conscious choices. That’s what I want to say. It helped me make some conscious choices. So it can really affect your life outside of the bedroom.
Odiva Vasell: (16:23)
And I’m understanding you totally like being, having that awareness and that connection to your body. You can actually hear what it’s saying to you. Somebody asks you a question, and if you feel, like, tension or pull back. You know that there’s some resistance there. There’s not something that you want to do. And I see
Aubrey Moore: (16:42)
It’s something to explore. Right. It’s all about noticing, noticing what’s going on.
Odiva Vasell: (16:46)
I see how that can help you set boundaries that can help you build your self-confidence. I think that’s part of the thing that we haven’t talked enough about with pleasure and sexuality is the self-confidence part inside and outside of the bedroom, because I can tell you as the women, over 50 or over 40, and then you start going into menopause and your body is so different that you don’t recognize it anymore. And that can also cause a disconnect. Like, this is not the body that I want, so I’m not even going to look at and connect with it anymore. And that’s not healthy.
Aubrey Moore: (17:30)
Yeah. It’s neglecting a whole part of you. People say, like, mind, body, spirit. Right. I think for a long time in my life, my mind was running the show. I like to call it living neck up, because it was just like everything was thought out, everything was planned. And there’s nothing wrong with making plans. I find a lot of enjoyment in that. But, yeah, a huge disconnect between my body’s wisdom, our bodies. If you really think about the intricate systems that our bodies go through that we aren’t even really aware of, like breathing, digesting, all these things are happening inside of us that are really intelligent systems. And so our body holds so much wisdom that is unfortunately not celebrated or encouraged maybe in our society to explore.
Odiva Vasell: (18:29)
Okay. And then we have women who have been through trauma, and there is not only physical, but there’s also emotional trauma, which we might not have acknowledged. Someone said something to you that made you feel less than, and you judged yourself and then you disconnected. Okay, I am not the beautiful, radiant, powerful woman that I thought I was. I am what this person said to me in childhood. And so when it comes time to really look at that inner being that you are and love and appreciate and give it pleasure, you can’t, because the trauma is kind of stunted. That person, how can they open themselves up again and realize that this is something that they also need but have been neglecting? Yeah, let’s take a breath.
Aubrey Moore: (19:31)
Yeah, take a breath. Let my body help me with this answer. Because trauma, I think that there are very specific trainings and educational pieces that a trauma coach or a trauma therapist goes through to kind of understand that because it is very complicated and it’s been quite misunderstood. I mean, from my understanding, it’s been quite misunderstood in our country, how trauma works. I mean, if you think about our veterans, right. And how when they return, how that is handled and how their trauma is handled, it wasn’t great. Really? Yeah. I feel like from my understanding, we are still trying to understand the vast world of how trauma affects a human body and a human system. For example, I had a client in the past, or she actually didn’t become my client, but we had a call together, and it was kind of one of those things where I was like, it feels like with certain people’s journeys into trauma, depending on where they are in it, right. If they’re just starting to understand their childhood sexual abuse, then it’s probably not a great idea for them to also work with a sex coach and explore pleasure because they don’t really have a good understanding of their own triggers yet and things like that. So I think there is a process.
Odiva Vasell: (21:13)
Process
Aubrey Moore: (21:15)
yeah. It’s different for everyone, but I think there’s a process that depending on where you’re at with your own trauma. Because I have my own trauma, too. Right. Sometimes pleasure is too far of a jump. It’s too far of a leap to get to. And relief is the first step. Or soothing. Self-soothing is the first step. You know what I mean? I don’t know if I didn’t really answer.
Odiva Vasell: (21:39)
You did. Process. It’s a process. Again, we have to recognize that each of us is complicated. Like fingerprints, like snowflakes. We all have to take our own journey and go through the process to get to the place. And I also want to open this up for men who are listening because they are part of the solution.
Aubrey Moore: (22:05)
Absolutely.
Odiva Vasell: (22:06)
That it’s not just about what you saw on TV.
Aubrey Moore: (22:14)
Yeah, totally. It’s funny, I was talking to a friend of mine the other day, and she had just started having sex with this guy, and it was her first time. And she’s like, “Yeah, it’s not what I expected.” I was like, “It’s nothing like TV, is it?” And she’s like, “No, it’s not.” But, yeah, I also talk about that in my book as well. Just not just TV, but mainstream porn in general, because that can be a really hot topic or kind of contradicting topic in our society. I am personally am an advocate of arousal material in different ways. I think of it as tools, just like toys and things like that. But there is a very thick line between the reality of what sex is like for the average person versus what is seen in mainstream porn or in movies or even in some novels and stuff. Too. Yeah. It’s entertainment, not education. Right. Learning about sex by watching porn is like learning how to drive by watching, like, a high-speed car chase in a movie. It’s not going to work.
Odiva Vasell: (23:38)
Great anatomy. Yeah. Again, I want to just emphasize for people that because of these gaps, we become disconnected. And then there is neglect.
Aubrey Moore: (23:54)
And that’s why I do what I do. Because after COVID hit, I was in kind of an interesting place in life. I was right at the end of an abusive relationship, and I was working at a job that it was fine, but I had grinded for, like, years and years. And so I was really exhausted and tired and wasn’t really doing what I loved. And so when I left the abusive relationship, I felt this awakening start to happen because I’d finally kind of. That was a big deal. It was seven years, too, so it was a long relationship. I thought I was going to be with this guy for the rest of my life. And then I left him and my life got so much better. And I was like, wow, this is amazing. I didn’t know that I was capable of doing that. I didn’t know I could do these things. And so it gave me this momentum and this energy. And then six months later, I quit my job and I was like, I’m going to follow my heart. And I got my clinical sexology certification, and I just feel very aligned with my purpose now. And it feels really good. It’s scary sometimes. It’s very challenging as well, but it feels right for me. And now that I’ve been doing this for almost two years, I’ve noticed and I’ve seen these gaps that you’re talking about, like, oh, wow, I wasn’t the only one who experienced kind of a weird gap. Okay, cool. There are other people who now are like, yeah, I have been married for ten years, and our sex life is terrible. Okay, so let’s figure out how to make this better. And it really is a crucial piece of how we relate not only to ourselves and how we treat ourselves, but how then we relate to other people as well.
Navigating Intimacy Beyond Taboos
Odiva Vasell: (25:59)
I’m glad you brought that up because that is the thing that runs through my mind when I imagine people going through their daily lives, and they’re married or in a committed relationship. They don’t enjoy their sex life at all, but they don’t discuss it; it just gets put to the side. And we talked earlier about all the health benefits of health and emotional benefits of having a healthy sex life. So where would that person begin to start the conversation? How you were fortunate that you had a mother that was open to listening to this. But in a culture of shame, where the smallest thing we do can be judged as women, and we have all these voices in our heads. No. Where do we start the conversation about something as taboo as sexual energy?
Aubrey Moore: (26:56)
Yeah. Mmm. Well, if you are in a place where sex is never talked about, ever in your relationship, then I would start with talking about what you like about your sexual experience with your partner. Not while you’re having it, maybe while you’re cooking, while you’re doing something else. Not to blanket statement men, but typically when they’re doing something with their hands or just in general, when we’re doing something with our hands, it takes the pressure off of having to have eye contact, and it can help us feel a little more relaxed. Right. So if sex is never something that’s ever talked about, I would begin with the positive. If there are any. If you could find some and share it with each other, take five minutes or ten minutes, say, “Hey, while we’re cooking dinner, I’d like to talk about what I enjoy about our sex life,” and start there. It’s a lot easier to start with the positive things than it is to. Well, maybe easier is not the word I’ll use, but it feels better, right? Yeah. Especially if it’s something that you never talk about, right? Yeah. And I think you were just saying, creating a safe space. Right. And that’s why having some time around it is good. Like having five minutes or having ten minutes and knowing that at the end of that time, we can negotiate and talk longer, or we can end our conversation. And that closes the container. It creates the container of safety, of, like, “Okay, for five minutes, we’re going to talk about this topic that makes us feel really uncomfortable.” And we both know that it’s going to be uncomfortable, but it’s only going to be five minutes. And then when it’s done, if you’re enjoying it, if you want to continue. Right. You can renegotiate. “Hey, can we actually talk for five more minutes?” Yeah, let’s do it. And then the container continues, or it comes to an end, and then you can go back to normal your life or whatever.
Odiva Vasell: (29:13)
Right. Yeah. I’ve been learning myself different communication processes about different topics with my family and things like that. And I understand that you never want to put somebody’s back against the wall, and you say this thing, and then you expect them to react this way. And if they don’t respect. Respect. If they don’t react in the way that you are expecting them to. Then there’s judgment, and then you break the bond of the relationship rather than build it. So I like what you’re saying about, can we talk about this while we have making dinner? And if it doesn’t go right the first time, you don’t give up.
Aubrey Moore: (29:57)
It’s probably not going to go right the first time, actually. It’s like anything new that you try, usually, right? It doesn’t go the exact way you want it to go the very first time. Think about when you were younger and you did sports. The first time you ever played basketball as a kid. Were you amazing at it? Probably not. But you practice, and that’s what sex is. That’s what intimacy is. It’s a practice. It’s just like anything else. It’s just in our country, because it’s been so shoved down for so long and taboo and bad and wrong, it seems harder. It seems like this special thing, but it’s really just like everything else that we do in our lives. It takes practice to talk about, takes practice to act out. It takes exploration and technique even. I’d like to add one more thing to the communication piece, especially if you’re new to maybe talking about some difficult topics with your partner. Is speaking from I is really powerful. I use this in my workshops as well. It’s kind of like a part of our safety guidelines before we go into workshops. So that way, when we’re having conversations with another person, instead of saying, “Well, you did this or you did this,” I feel like this, or I notice this, or I think this. And so it helps you take ownership of your own experience, which is very powerful. And then it also doesn’t make the other person feel like you’re attacking them. Right. Like you were just saying and like they’re up against a wall. So speaking from “I” is really subtle, but it can be really powerful when heard and when used in the relationship dynamic.
Odiva Vasell: (31:47)
Good advice. Speaking from I and not you did this.
Aubrey Moore: (31:51)
Yeah, exactly. And honestly, if you’re a couple who you’ve tried and you’re like, it’s really awkward, it’s not really working out, then get some additional help. I would love to support you in that. Or if it’s maybe a deeper seated issue, maybe having a therapist to help you guys listen to each other. There’s no shame in getting outside help to deal with something that we were never taught in the first place.
Odiva Vasell: (32:28)
We can’t end the conversation without mentioning the O word.
Aubrey Moore: (32:37)
Absolutely.
Odiva Vasell: (32:39)
I’m going to put a statement to you, and you can tell me what you think. Sex is not all about orgasm. What are your thoughts?
Mind-Body Harmony in Intimacy
Aubrey Moore: (32:49)
I would say preach, sister. Yeah, I completely agree with that. In my book, I call it that orgasm as a byproduct. I even say it like that because when you are, when you are following the pull of pleasure, if you’re in your self-pleasure practice or if you’re walking around going on a hike, right, and you look at things that give you interest or pleasure, you go to those things. Same type of thing in the bedroom. When you’re following the pull of pleasure, you stay present, which is very difficult, I think, for a lot of us when it comes to sex, especially if we’ve been operating in this mind space for a long time, because our mind loves to solve problems. My mind definitely loves to solve problems or create problems that don’t. Blah, blah, blah. Being present is a way to help your mind kind of chill out. And so when you’re focused on pleasure instead of orgasm, then that helps you stay present in your body, present with your experience. And then the experience kind of becomes like the journey instead of orgasm becoming the goal, because that also puts a lot of pressure on people, both men and women. I was talking to another friend of mine, and she said something about, like, well, he didn’t finish, and then I felt like a failure. And it’s like that type of stuff, if someone doesn’t have this explosion at the end or during a sexual experience, that it’s a failed experience. And to me, it’s just a little disheartening because there’s so much to experience when orgasm isn’t the main focus. It can be a really beautiful experience to just feel different sensations on your body and understanding what types of sensations give you pleasure, which maybe on Tuesday it’ll be like feathers, like really soft touches, and then maybe on Sunday you’re like, I don’t want soft touches now. I want hard touches. And it changes, right? I think orgasm is a really powerful experience, especially for women who give it to themselves. When you give yourself an orgasm, just as a side note, even though it’s like a whole topic, it’s a whole topic in my podcast. It really builds inner trust, right? For example, when I got out of my emotionally abusive relationship three years ago, my inner sense of trust, my inner trust, my intuition, a lot of that was pretty messed up because I was like, I thought I knew things, like, how could I let myself be in this relationship for so long, blah, blah, blah, our mind just. And so when I used a lot of different tools. But self-pleasure was a tool that I used to help gain that inner trust back again and to build and strengthen the relationship with my own intuition. Yeah, because. Right. I’m making myself orgasm because I know exactly what my body needs. Right. It’s like becoming the expert of your own body, building your intuition. Yeah. And it’s really strengthened this bond. Orgasm is important. Don’t get me wrong, particularly if you’re making yourself orgasm. It’s a very powerful experience and it builds inner trust, helps you practice receiving. There’s lots of benefits, however, or I’ll say, and it’s not the end all, be all.
Odiva Vasell: (36:58)
Wow, that’s good information. Because that is the opposite of everything that we’re being programmed to believe.
Aubrey Moore: (37:06)
Yeah, totally.
Odiva Vasell: (37:08)
It’s good to. It’s this journey of self-exploration and self-empowerment.
Aubrey Moore: (37:15)
Yeah, it really is. And it kind of helps you shift your belief when you think of it that way. Shift how you even operate in the bedroom instead of like, I’ve got to get there and then you get like, you force it and that never works. And kind of being in this really tense place, it kind of helps you shift to experimentation and play. Right. I feel like sex is like the adult way of playing around. It’s one of the ways that we get to play and have fun with each other. And so it really helps you shift kind of that mindset or a belief to I have to get to some place or else I failed to You know what? I’m just going to enjoy this journey. And if it takes me to orgasm, that’s awesome. If it doesn’t, it’s still going to be really enjoyable and pleasurable for me.
Odiva Vasell: (38:11)
Excellent. Yeah. Just giving yourself permission to be however you be, if it’s not the perfect thing that you had imagined and you’re not no longer listening to what you are supposed to be doing on TV. You have this journey with foreplay because there’s so many different types. The cooking in the kitchen and.
Aubrey Moore: (38:38)
Yeah, it’s so important. I call it core play sometimes because it’s so core. It’s like the most important pieces, in my opinion, when it comes to, like, we’ll use the example of a relationship, a heterosexual relationship, in TV and in porn and in entertainment, all you see is them talking in a restaurant and then boom, their clothes are off and they’re ripping each other apart. They skipped a lot of steps in between there. And this core play idea for me, and this is also how I describe it in my upcoming book, is it’s some of the most important pieces necessary to experience those mind-blowing orgasms that people talk about or experience a deep, intimate connection with your partner. Right. Unfortunately, these existential, spiritual orgasms don’t happen in ten minutes. That’s just not really realistic. And so I was telling this example to one of my clients the other day that sometimes my version of core play with me and my partner, it was different every time, but it takes quite a bit of time. Sometimes we just go sit in the bed with our clothes on and we just talk for a while, or we give each other some massages for a little bit, and then 45 minutes, an hour goes by, and then it’s like, oh, we’re finally settling into each other’s company. The day has finally melted away. And all that stress from that crazy work meeting that we had earlier, that’s finally starting to go away. Like giving time for your sexual energy to gestate is how I’ll say that.
Odiva Vasell: (40:31)
The crock pot. Yeah.
Aubrey Moore: (40:37)
But it’s extremely important, especially for women, because it takes a little bit more time for us to be warmed up.
Odiva Vasell: (40:45)
I love what you’re saying. It’s about connection, communication, grounding yourself first, and giving yourself time to play with the idea of being in another person’s presence and connecting with them and just experience the amazing health benefits that go along with.
Aubrey Moore: (41:08)
Absolutely. Yeah.
Odiva Vasell: (41:11)
So I want to thank you so much for joining, Aubrey.
Aubrey Moore: (41:17)
Absolutely. It was my pleasure. And I love talking about this. So thank you so much for having me and allowing me to share what I think is this really vital information with your audience.
Odiva Vasell: (41:34)
Thank you.
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Conclusion
In essence, Aubrey Moore, a certified clinical sexologist, encourages women to embrace a transformative journey of self-discovery by tuning into their body’s rhythms and desires. Highlighting the importance of self-care, she emphasizes the power of finding one’s groove to strengthen relationships and overall well-being. The concept of ‘self-dating’ emerges as a key tool in building self-confidence, offering women a pathway to reclaim autonomy and prioritize personal pleasure. In a world where women often dedicate their lives to caring for others, this perspective shift becomes a powerful act of self-love and a step towards redefining the narrative around sexuality and confidence. So, in the pursuit of health, wealth, and self-discovery, the first step is tuning into your own rhythm and embracing the journey of self-empowerment.