Many English learners who have high test scores in all areas of English, or can maintain a detailed technical discussion, still struggle to have casual conversations. I have witnessed this at all levels of English learners. I will never forget meeting a Japanese man who scored the highest possible score on the TOEIC exam and yet he could not maintain a casual conversation. I’ve also met learners who were at the intermediate level of English language and found it very difficult to respond to the basic introduction questions on the IELTS exam.
Introvert vs Extrovert on command
This always intrigued me, and after thorough investigation, I discovered that this happens for two major reasons. Firstly, the personality of someone who is introverted and prefers to listen rather than to talk about themselves makes it very difficult for them to suddenly create a story about themselves, especially when under pressure. The first area that I’d advise those who struggle to make conversation is practicing casual conversations or chit chat in their native language with their friends, partner, etc. The first step is to practice answering questions in detail, using the 5 W’s (Who, What, Where, When, Why +How) instead of quick answers. A Chinese student who was preparing for IELTS when asked about his casual conversations, explained that most of his conversations were with his girlfriend. However, if she asked about his day he would typically give short answers with minimal details. He tended to leave it up to others to do most of the talking. I soon recognized that this was his personality and to suddenly force himself to go into detail on a topic would not only be difficult in English but also a struggle in his native language. I imagine his partner also desired more details about his daily life as they were now in a long distance relationship, while he was working abroad. Answering her questions in more detail was the challenge I gave him as part of his homework.
Almost Perfect
The gentleman who had received the highest possible score on the TOEIC exam had an extensive vocabulary. After assessing him I realized that it was not because of his personality but his struggle was due to the fact that he had never had an opportunity to make small talk and all his entire life he had focused on mastering exams.
This piqued my curiosity and was when I first began to research how the brain works. Shortly after I began to understand how the speaking and the listening parts of the language are maintained in different parts of the brain.
Merging information from these two parts becomes a cause of frustration for those who do not realize the vast difference in how their brain processes information in these areas for communication and that they will not naturally synchronize without a concentrated effort.
Misunderstood and Misjudged
I’ve spoken with many acquaintances who say that when their kids go to visit their grandparents they can understand every instruction that their grandparents give them but cannot reply to them in their language. All too often grandparents see this as very frustrating and label the grandkids as lazy. On the other hand I’ve spoken to adults who felt inadequate because they could understand all of the conversation between their grandparents and parents but they couldn’t participate in the conversation.
I often explain to people who had this experience, that if they have never trained the conversational part of the brain, the brain doesn’t know where to go to retrieve the language to answer a question or create sentences.
Furthermore, the process of forming a backwards sentence, as the English sentence structure is in reverse in comparison to several other languages, is very challenging. To instinctively reply by compiling words together when unsure of the tense or grammatical structure might result in an almost caveman, ” Me Tarzan, You Jane”, sounding response. This often leads to them being ridiculed by cousins and other family members (as several people have confided in me) when they are in the process of just starting to exercise the newly formed language and conversation part of their brain.
A Heritage Lost
As a result, without having a safe place to practice or receive guided instruction they immediately quit and never learn to speak the language and sadly are unable to pass that language on to future generations, which is very unfortunate. Of course, not knowing how this process works is neither the fault of the grandparents or the parents, but without a language teacher once the brain has already formed its language skills, the development of the conversational parts of the brain require much more effort on the part of the person who might be very skilled at listening. A lot of how humans learn languages remains a mystery but having a safe place to learn “as a child” can build confidence faster as opposed to being forced into it.