Interview with Tamera Smith
In this episode, we will uncover 3 keys:
- The inspiring story of facing challenges, finding strength, and making positive changes.
- Efforts to help survivors and combat domestic violence, improving the lives of women and children.
- The strength in speaking up, seeking support, and building a united community of empowered women.
A Podcast Transcription
Episode 21: Non-Profit Founder~Tamera Smith~Domestic Violence Survivor & Advocate!
Intro
Odiva Vasell: (00:00)
Welcome, welcome, my fabulous fempreneurs. I have a special guest for you, Miss Tamera Smith, and she’s going to talk about her non-profit. She has several different businesses that she runs, but today we’re going to feature her non-profit and the work that she does in that. Welcome, Welcome, Tamara.
Tamera Smith: (00:26)
Thank you for having me, Odiva.
Odiva Vasell: (00:29)
Hi. So, yes! I’m so excited to hear about someone who started in a non-profit. Is that where you began? Tell us anything.
The inspiring story of facing challenges, finding strength, and making positive changes.
Tamera Smith: (00:43)
Yes, well, you know when things happen in life to you, right? That’s like with being sick or having cancer or things like that. You don’t know until you have it. And you’ve been in it. You’ve been to the chemo, you’ve been to the radiation. So with my non-profit, I’m a domestic violence survivor. I almost got killed in my relationship. And from being in that relationship, I promised. I said, you know what? If you let me live, I promise I will serve my women in my community and I will do for children. So from my heartache to my pain and now to my purpose. So in that, I had to relearn to love myself, to put myself as the first priority, to know who I am as a woman, to sit in all of the negativity and turn that negativity to positivity. That’s a hard thing to do for women. Very hard because we always go with the past. I was heavier. I wasn’t as secure as I am now. I was letting someone lead me who had past trauma in his life that he didn’t deal with, that carried on into my life to where even when the abuse stopped and I left the relationship, restraining orders, they don’t work. Because he would come to my job and just sit there. He would come into where I was working in a beauty salon at the time, and my manager and owner, they were like, “What’s going on?” Because he would sit there and he would stare at me for like hours, and then I would call the police. And then the police wouldn’t do anything for me. I’m talking about from being drugged on LA streets, from being stomped, kicked, slapped, etcetera, for fear to now becoming my safe journey. We question sometimes, and I questioned why is this happening to me? But why not me? Because I feel that if women have a story to tell, they help other women. They catalyze through all of the BS and they say, “You know what? I’m standing up for the thousands of women. There are four in one women a day. Four out of one women a day getting abused by men. And now it’s getting worse. There’s nobody really to speak for us. No one because they don’t want to hear it.”
Odiva Vasell: (03:39)
Let me see. One in four.
Tamera Smith: (03:41)
Yes!
Odiva Vasell: (03:42)
One in four. Wow, that’s a high number.
Tamera Smith: (03:45)
Yes. And it goes up as the years go on. And for me, I got to do more. I have to, in regards to women, in regards to children, my children seen that they were affected by that. So you have to go and you have to talk to somebody. And the mental health aspect of that is really just mind-blowing because I did. I had to get help. I have a strong family network, right, of people who just from my mom to my aunts to my dad, all of that. But it’s more than that. You have to sit and talk to someone, get yourself right mentally, because if you don’t get yourself right mentally, you won’t be able to take care of your children. You won’t be able to provide for yourself, and trust. And believe me, it’s hard. It was hard for me as a single mother and all of the other disparities.
Odiva Vasell: (04:51)
And wow, that is a story. I mean, a story of triumph.
Tamera Smith: (04:59)
Yes.
Odiva Vasell: (05:01)
A horrific, horrific situation. And you mentioned the statistic about the women who are getting abused, and recently I was made aware of the women that are being killed. And I was following that at one point on social media. And it even got to be too much for me to look at how many women and children are being killed in abusive relationships or even ending the relationship, and the person finds them years later only to end their life. And this is tragic. And as you spoke about, you contacting the police or you’re contacting the authorities. And within the laws and the guidelines that they have, sometimes there’s nothing they can do. That is a frightening thing.
Efforts to help survivors and combat domestic violence, improving the lives of women and children.
Tamera Smith: (05:59)
There’s nothing that they can do. And with me starting my nonprofit, it’ll be up and running in September because this is how I’m a blessed babe got started. I was going out to downtown LA women’s shelter. I was going to different places and doing things out of my own pocket for these women. Yes, for Mother’s Day, I went to Elizabeth’s house, I gave all the women facials there. For the downtown LA women’s shelter, I contacted Jockey and a couple of other places. We gave haircuts, we gave food, we did everything for these women. And I said, you know what? This past year, I’ve been doing all this stuff from toy drives to sweater drives to book drives and things like that. So I said, you know what? I want to do something that’s going to not only for my legacy and to help me move forward in being happier, healthy, and whole, to help and celebrate another woman.
Odiva Vasell: (07:05)
Yes. And so you had come down, and I see you in white. You’re like this angel that has come down to help these women because this is powerful. So many are saying, “Okay, I have escaped this horrific situation, and I don’t want to look back. I don’t want to think about it,” and kind of suppressing that trauma. But here you have taken that trauma and used it to fuel your life for the better, to fuel the lives of other women, bring them up with you.
Tamera Smith: (07:40)
Yes. It has to be a strong unit because if it’s not a strong unit, then you won’t be able to fulfill your vision in your life. I have my “I’m a Blessed Babe” so strong and so powerful to help women. I’m even planning on going to Congress. I want more gun laws passed for domestic violence abusers. I don’t think that they should be able to even own a gun. I think that once they threaten a woman, they should have their license, their driver’s license, their license on their car. All these things should be taken away. I have so many pages of things that I think that Congress should hear. I think that when a woman leaves a situation, right, I was thinking about, I said, “You know, once she leaves and she has nothing, right, she has no toothbrush, I am creating something called a Kindness Tote. It’s going to be, and it has all the essentials in it, from your toothbrush to your shampoo to your conditioner. Everything that you need in that moment, from your sanitary napkins, from your tampons, from anything that you need, it will be in that Kindness Tote.”
Odiva Vasell: (09:09)
Wow, that is brilliant. That’s something that a lot of people don’t understand. And first of all, I want to address that. You want to make changes in laws that are really going to help people because a lot of people, a lot of times we get on the news, and people talk about the problem, but they don’t come together to change laws that create solutions or create options for women. And people will say it’s very coldly, “Just leave him.” As you said, this woman can leave and not even have a toothbrush.
Tamera Smith: (09:47)
Yeah.
Odiva Vasell: (09:48)
And then you have children into the situation, and then you can’t just up and run with children, as you might think. It’s easy, but no, being in a shelter, that’s not the option that a lot of women want.
The strength in speaking up, seeking support, and building a united community of empowered women.
Tamera Smith: (10:06)
It’s not. And you know what? The reason why I wanted to create the Kindness Totes was that I was that woman and living in it and experiencing it. You know what I mean? It got me to a place to where I’m like, these are the things that have to happen. If they don’t happen, and we don’t speak up and we don’t have a voice to make change, there won’t be change. Things are going to continuously happen over and over again. Even with our gun laws, they happen over and over and over again. People get shot and killed, now there’s mass shootings now. You know what? And I think that the more powerful, the more voice we have, the more action that they will take. Domestic violence isn’t going to stop until one of those lawmakers, god forbid, or somebody in their family is impacted by it. That’s when they want to speak up and do something. But it’s been since the 2000s with me that I’ve just been, you know what? And now is the time. Fire is under me. I’m going to have this done. I already have my filing from the state, already have everything. The only thing I’m waiting on right now is from the IRS to give me my 501, and I’m on my way.
Odiva Vasell: (11:27)
Yes, you are making moves, lady.
Tamera Smith: (11:32)
I have to.
Odiva Vasell: (11:34)
I feel your power. I feel your energy. And to feel your drive and commitment in this way. And let me tell you, when I post this, I’m going to make sure that the women in my group sit down to hear this, because a lot of them have stories. A lot of them have trauma and traumatic experiences that they’ve gone through. And what you’re teaching me, or what I’m hearing from you is you can use that to fuel the energy, a positive energy where you can be the strength for other women who have no one.
Tamera Smith: (12:16)
Yes. And you know what? Every woman doesn’t have their power. Because just think, this man has abused this woman for, let’s say, six years. And every day out of that six years, her power diminishes into a mustard seed, a tiny mustard seed. How can she regain that power back? I’ve seen women who walk around with their head held down. That’s why I say, hold your head up high. That’s why I started doing my motivational speaking, telling women that you are enough. Love and embrace your body. Love who you are. That gorgeous face you have. Love it. Walk in your power. Know who you are. Because if you don’t, no one’s going to tell you you’re powerful until you gain it yourself. No one’s going to tell you, “Oh, my God, girl, you’re confident.” They may say that, but are you really? Do you have that self-doubt? So much has happened to me in my life to bring me to this point. I don’t care what nobody says about me. I walk in my power. I love who I am. I try to treat every woman with pride and confidence, let them know that they are loved. When I’m out in the store or I’m out somewhere, I’m like, “Hi, how are you?” And they’re like, shocked. Like I’m even speaking, but I’m like, I have to do that.
Odiva Vasell: (13:52)
Yeah, I see you. I see you. And you are worthy.
Tamera Smith: (13:59)
Thank you.
Odiva Vasell: (14:00)
Ladies. Ladies, take this powerful message that you are worthy. You are enough. And everything that you need is in here.
Tamera Smith: (14:17)
Everything. You know what’s so funny is when I do my self-motivational speaking, my self-love motivational speaking, I always start out with “I am. You are. She is. That woman, a woman of courage. A woman of power. A woman of self-love and confidence. Who can make it. You can make it. If you speak positive words over your life, you can make it. So many women are in that negative realm of, well, I guess it’s going to happen. No, I know it’s going to happen. I know it’s going to happen for me because I push. I make a way out of no way. And you have to speak positive words over your life. If you live your life in 25 years of negativity, start your 26th year of positivity and speak that power, and things will happen. People always go around and say, “Well, you know what? I don’t like how I look. What can we do? We can change it. We can change it. Anything in this life, we can change for the better.”
Odiva Vasell: (15:34)
And let me tell you, when you step into your power, that inner beauty is what’s going to shine. That inner beauty is what’s going to draw people in. Because I work with people in getting visible. And they’re waiting until they look perfect or sound perfect or talk perfect before they show up. Honey, we are all different.
Tamera Smith: (15:58)
Yes.
Odiva Vasell: (15:59)
You do not have to be the same. There is no point in all of us being clones of each other. We have to show up uniquely and as beautifully as we are as individuals. And in that when we come together,
Tamera Smith: (16:13)
we’re unstoppable.
Odiva Vasell: (16:16)
Magnified. Yes. Unstoppable. Oh, wow. Got me. Miss Tamera Smith, I want to thank you for being on here today and shining light. What is the name of this nonprofit and how can we here at Fempreneur International help?
Tamera Smith: (16:39)
My nonprofit is called “I’m a Blessed Babe.” You can find me on Instagram, my website, and all that will be up. Within the next month. Okay? But you can find me, or if you want to email me, you can at imablessedbabe@gmail.com.
Odiva Vasell: (17:00)
And I’m really interested in this kindness tote. So you keep me updated on how we can provide some kindness totes because oh, my goodness. Going out feminine products and toothbrushes just because you had the courage to leave your husband, who had all the resources and all the control. That should never happen.
Tamera Smith:(17:28)
It should never happen. And another thing, I wanted to tell you that it leads to homelessness. So women who leave their mate or make them leave or put them out, they have nowhere to go. And so the women and children are living on the streets. I’ve seen it at the downtown LA women’s Shelter. I’ve seen it at Genesis house. I’ve seen it at all of these shelters, and I’m like, something has to be done.
Odiva Vasell: (17:55)
Yes. Because then they’re a target for other.
Tamera Smith: (17:58)
Yes. Yes. And I don’t know, living in California, it’s just you know with that and the sex trafficking and they went through one situation into another, I have to step up. I have to fundraise. I have to give, I have to do. Because I promise you, you’re going to see this face right here in Washington.
Odiva Vasell: (18:21)
Yes! Yes yes yes This is a beautiful mission. Beautiful and powerful. So, ladies, listen, be empowered and know that your story, your struggle can fuel you to greater heights and know that You matter and here’s a channel where you can help support other women who are on the journey. And we really want them to succeed and thrive, not just survive. So thank you. Thank you so much for being with us here today.
Tamera Smith: (19:12)
You’re welcome. You’re welcome. And my story, I hope it inspires other women, and women can learn from other women’s mistakes. Like I said, if you don’t tell your story, people won’t know. And I think that when women find out what you’ve been through, they’re like, whoa. It’s just not the face. It’s not the makeup. It’s not the brain. It’s more than that. You can see pretty women, and they have an ugly spirit. We’re not going there. We’re going with beauty. But from the inside out. And to teach you, to motivate you, to love you.
Odiva Vasell: (19:50)
Yes! Yes yes yes Thank you for bringing your power to us!
[music]
Conclusion
In conclusion, Tamara Smith’s transformative journey, from survivor to advocate, through her nonprofit “I’m a Blessed Babe,” is a compelling reminder of the strength within us all. Her commitment to helping women and children who’ve lost everything after leaving abusive partners is a testament to the power of empathy and the resolve for positive change. Tamara’s story serves as a powerful inspiration, illustrating that each one of us possesses the potential to make a difference in the lives of others. Let her journey kindle the flames of self-love, self-forgiveness, and self-empowerment in our own hearts, and together, we can contribute to a more compassionate and supportive world.