Interview with Eileen Joy
In this episode, we will uncover 3 keys:
- Money as a Tool, Not a Stressor
- Building a Strong Money Mindset
- Teaching Kids About Money in a Cashless Society
Podcast Transcription
Episode 55: Break Free from Limiting Beliefs and Unlock Your Path to Wealth | Eileen Joy
Intro
Odiva Vasell (00:33):
Welcome, my fabulous fempreneurs! I have an exciting interview for you today. I am here with Eileen Joy, and she is a Certified Financial Education Instructor. She has a special mission to empower moms to overcome financial struggles and even invest their money with confidence. She’s here today to give us, you know, the lowdown on what it takes to become financially savvy. So, welcome, welcome today, Eileen!
Eileen Joy (01:15):
Thank you so much for having me today, Odiva! I’m very excited. This is gonna be fun!
Odiva Vasell (01:20):
Yeah! I read your history, and yeah, I wanna talk a little bit—just a little bit first—about how Moms Who Money… Yeah, how Moms Who Money was born. How did that come about?
Money as a Tool, Not a Stressor
Eileen Joy (01:40):
Moms Who Money—it’s such an interesting story how it all happened. So, it all started from my divorce. And at the end of the day, when my divorce was final, I had lost everything. I needed to sell my house to pay for my divorce. I needed to find a new job while I was going through my divorce because I was working with my sister-in-law at the time, and my work environment became a little bit toxic. So, I had to leave.
And thank you to the universe—I found an even better job! And then, while all of this was going on, my son and I got into a really bad car accident. My car was totaled, and we both ended up in the hospital. I’m still dealing with a neck injury from that accident.
Then, at the end of my divorce, the attorney’s office seized all of my assets to make sure they would get paid. At the end of the day, they sent me a check in the mail for all the money I had left in the world—$347. I would have gotten tens of thousands of dollars from the sale of my home and everything else they took, but I was left with basically nothing.
I had to get a new house, a new job, a new car, and start all over as a single mom with a five-year-old—on $347. So, after I picked myself up off the floor, out of the fetal position, crying, I dusted myself off and said, “You know what? I’m a single mom with a five-year-old. I can’t do this. I need to figure this out.” Right?
We put one foot in front of the other and figured it out—and that’s what I did. That was my mission. My mission was to be the best mom I could be for my son and to be there for myself, right? For both of us. So, I did whatever I could to do that. I got the house, got the job, got the car.
And this was all happening at the tail end of a bankruptcy. So, I was just… bankruptcy broke, right? But I said, “That’s it. We’re gonna do this.” And because I picked myself up, I brought in a team that surrounded me with everything I needed. At the time, I had a divorce support group, a therapist, and all kinds of coaches. I got what I needed for me. I even put my son in therapy.
I just said, “Look, we’re gonna be better than ever.” And because of that—thank you!—it changed everything, right? I bounced back so fast. Then I learned everything I needed to do to be on my own. My biggest fear was, “Can I do this? Can I be on my own?” I was never on my own like that—with a child, right? And yeah, I did it!
Then, all my friends started saying, “Eileen, what did you do? How did you do this?” Right? Because all of a sudden, it seemed overnight—though it was years. But overnight, I had a fully funded emergency fund. I was completely debt-free. I paid off that six-year car loan in three years. I completely repaired my credit. My credit score is now in the 800s.
I was able to fire my financial advisor, and now I do it myself. My son has been empowered with a financial education. He’s 12 years old and knows more about money than most adults—and even has more money than most adults! He earns through his allowance and little odd jobs, and he knows what to do with his money. He knows not to spend every penny, right?
He’s now in the process of saving for his own car, paying for his own college—doing all these things we know we need to do but don’t know how, right? One day, my son and I were talking about all of this—about all these people coming to me for help—and he said, “Mommy, you really need to help more moms. You’re so good at this. Everyone comes to you for help, and you’re helping them. You’re saving them!”
And he said, “Mommy, you need to do this.”
We had this really long conversation about it, and I said, “You know what? I do. You’re right—I do.” And that’s basically how Moms Who Money was born.
And where we are now—I’m now a Certified Financial Education Instructor. I’m also a Certified Financial Literacy Professional. I have so many licenses! I just jumped into it. I just want to stand on the mountaintops and shout out to all moms and their kids: All women deserve a financial education, right?
And so do our kids! We need to give our kids a fighting chance so that we don’t continue being stuck in this financial cycle.
Odiva Vasell (06:43):
Yes, yeah. Give them a fighting chance! I love that, and I just wanna take a minute to applaud you and what I call gumption. Like, you knew you had to do it. You have a five-year-old being like—you know—the mothers that have that power just need to empower themselves and realize, like, look, there are no options here. I’ve got to find what works and get it done.
And you did that! And now you’re helping other mothers come to that place where they are financially literate. I love the fact that you did it with the kid as well, so you didn’t just say, “Okay, Mommy’s gonna solve this, and kids, close your eyes and, you know, look the other way. We give you a happy-ever-after ending.” You’re gonna make it happen too, working together. That is brilliant! Thank you, thank you for that inspiration.
So, I wanna ask you about managing money on a daily basis. Are there some practical tips that we can do to kind of break it down for us, you know, who are just starting out?
Eileen Joy (08:01):
Yeah, the easiest thing to do with money first, before you just start thinking about the numbers, is to think about how money makes you feel. Because that’s the biggest part about money—it’s really being aware of your fundamental beliefs and your feelings about money.
It’s really the critical first step to changing all of your financial behaviors because that’s what helps you change it to the positive. It helps you accomplish all your financial goals and helps you be able to reach that independence—that financial independence, safety, and security.
Because what happens now with most women? We are brought up to stay small, be quiet, look pretty, right? And men are brought up to be strong, don’t cry, don’t show your emotions, take care of your family, and provide, right? So we each have our own separate struggles, and we each have our own way of feeling about money.
Women are scared about money all the time, right? All the time. That’s all it is—everything is fear, fear-based, right? And so, a lot of times, people want to do better with their money, right? It’s kind of the same thing with, like, losing a few pounds, right? It’s like, you know, you should eat well, exercise, drink water, and stop eating crap, right? But it’s the same thing with money.
It’s like, you know, you should not just continuously “add to cart” and have boxes show up at your door and then forget what you just bought, right? And that happens to me too. Sometimes I’ll order something, and then I’ll see the box on my door when I pull into the driveway, and I’m like, “What did I order? What was that?” Right? And we all have that happen to us.
And it’s these things that are all derived from our feelings about money. So at the end of the day, when we want to take a step back and look at our overall financial picture, it’s really about looking at your money and saying, “What am I spending my money on most? And is it those things that don’t really matter?”
Right, yeah. So it’s one of those things where I teach values-based spending, and basically, what that means is: What’s important to you? Right? What are your priorities? And, like, this is really important for when you’re looking at your money and knowing where you want your money to go and what you want to spend it on.
Because sometimes, you go to Target, you go in, maybe you wanna get some deodorant and a few little things, right? You run in, you wanna just quickly go, and then you come out spending, like, three hundred bucks on stuff that—you don’t even know what it is, right? Yeah.
Odiva Vasell: (10:52)
A cart full of stuff that you don’t really need, but it was on sale or something like that.
Eileen Joy: (10:57)
Yeah. Oh, it’s on sale—get two, right? You know? And it’s like, it wasn’t even on your list. So then you get home, and then you feel guilty, right? Then you have all these shame feelings and guilt feelings.
And so this is the problem. It’s not like, “Let me give you some little tips on how to budget.” That comes next, right? But when you really think about it, it’s all up in your mind. Your mind is controlling your wallet.
Odiva Vasell: (11:28)
And I like what you said about how you feel about money. So that’s gonna take people on a journey of self-exploration.
Think about how you feel about money. Are you contracting? What do you contract on? What do you expand on? And, you know, it’s understanding that it is okay to sometimes spend and treat yourself to that Amazon box. Or just have that in the budget—where you’re actually looking at what you’re spending, what’s going on, and what’s coming in—with eyes wide open instead of fear.
‘Cause I was researching, and I found out that there’s a high percentage of fear-based living for women. Especially many women are worried that they’re gonna lose their home and be out on the street. It’s such a high percentage—it shocked me that we have that in the back of our minds.
And when you look at how society has conditioned us, even just owning that home or having the higher finances is something that we look toward the men to do. And then we kind of hopefully sit back and hope it all works out in the marriage. And if it doesn’t, then we become devastated.
Eileen Joy: (12:57)
Because 78% of Americans are living paycheck to paycheck. And it doesn’t matter how much money they make—the more money you make, the more paycheck to paycheck you are because the more you’re spending.
And we do that to keep up with the Joneses. Everyone’s keeping up with the Joneses. We all have this disease that’s worse than COVID. You know what it is? It’s called comparisonitis, right?
We compare ourselves to everyone else. “Look what they have! They have that new car. They went on that awesome vacation. Oh, they’re spending money on this—so should I! They just got a bigger house, so I need one too.”
Right? But then we’re losing sight of our own priorities. Like, what is your priority for your life and your family? That’s what’s important—not what you see online, not what you see your friend doing on Facebook. It really comes back to that, and that’s why everyone’s so afraid.
Odiva Vasell: (14:04)
Right.
Eileen Joy: (14:06)
And also, the reason why most women stay in relationships that they really don’t need to be in—right? They’re afraid to step out because of the same fear that I had.
I was afraid. I lost everything, and that was my biggest fear. So now I’ve created a plan to make sure that never happens again. And all women can do that. It’s the fear that holds everyone back from really going after what they want.
They’re unhappy in their relationship for whatever reason, and they say “they” say that the biggest reason for divorce is money. Right? But you know what? It’s not the money—it’s communicating about the money. It’s communicating about anything in general, really.
Right? And it’s the fear. “What’s gonna happen if we talk about this?”
Odiva Vasell (15:01):
Alright, so what I’m hearing from you, yeah, is you talked about the mindset. We’ve talked about the fear. Now you’re talking about the communication in the two people, and then when that falls apart, they blame it on the money. But I can always see that the money mindset was embedded in them, and then the conflict comes in.
You know, we get into these relationships hoping that love will just overcome anything, and there is this seething—I guess kind of boil—under the surface that if you don’t treat it, if you don’t have that respect for money and bring that into the relationship with your partner, then of course it’s gonna boil over and come into other areas of your life.
I understand that money affects very many areas of your life. And what I understand from America, because I’ve lived in different countries, is that the whole thing of credit and debt weighs on us heavily—much more than anywhere I’ve seen. I’ve been in Europe, I’ve been in Asia, and they have their economic struggles as well, but it’s very different from here.
So what is the role that debt plays when we’re talking about money mindset and financial awareness?
Building a Strong Money Mindset
Eileen Joy (16:24):
Odiva, this is the biggest issue.
And like what I was going back to before and alluding to is the overspending. And so, the problem—where the problem starts, especially in this country—is that there is no financial education in school. They do not teach financial education in school.
I actually have clients, women, mothers, who have doctorates in finance that never learned how to manage their own money. They’ve learned all about taxes and other types of things in finance, but not how to manage their own money.
Odiva: I’m glad you made that distinction.
Eileen: $400,000—they spend on their education. $400,000 on an education in finance and still have no idea how to even finish paying off their student loans that they’re struggling to pay off.
And so, what happens is the “American Dream,” which I like to call the “American Debt Trap,” is such that this country is trillions of dollars in debt. And that’s just the country on their own loans, right? Because our government gets loans to balance the budget.
Right, so no one else in the country knows how to balance a budget either. It trickles down, and then they support the banks, who are overcharging the consumers, right?
So what happens in this case is we don’t know what to do with our money when we get it—’cause we’re not taught. We just know how to spend it, right? So we get the money, we spend it, then there’s more month left at the end of the money.
So then we go out and get a credit card because we need more money. Instead of learning how to create another stream of income for yourself where you don’t have to pay it back, you go out and get a credit card so that you do have to pay back. And now it’s at a 30% interest, right?
So every purchase you make, if you don’t pay that bill off at the end of the month, you’re paying extra. And then it’s compounded on, and compounded on, and compounded on. So if you’re just paying a little bit every month, you’re never going to get ahead.
And that is just credit cards—let alone the trillions of dollars that the country is in, and automobile loans, and student loans, and personal loans, and mortgages, and everything else, right?
So the “American Dream”—I do the air quotes because it’s not—it has turned into something that is a disaster. A complete dumpster fire nightmare that has ruined, financially, so many people.
And so, I am now here shouting on mountaintops, “Let’s stop it! Let’s cut this out and learn what to actually do with our money so we can take our power back and empower ourselves with the financial education so that we can turn things around!”
You’ll be able to retire. There are so many people that are scared that they’re not gonna be able to retire and will work till the day they die, you know? And then, give our kids a fighting chance so that they can make some money.
My son—he’s gonna be a multi-millionaire by the time he’s my age, right? I want that for all kids, right? All people. And it’s possible. It’s just that no one’s taught how to do it.
Odiva Vasell (19:55):
Okay, so I’m hearing from you that all this financial knowledge and stuff that we are getting, the education we are getting in the schools, has nothing to do with managing your money. And I just want our listeners to take a minute to breathe that in and just really think about managing your money.
As we said before—eyes open—and be aware of what’s coming in and what’s going out. But do you have any suggestions for effectively increasing one’s income? I mean, you went from nothing to where you are now. So not just gumption, but what can we do to increase our income?
Eileen Joy (20:44):
Yeah, so like I was saying before, the first thing is mindset.
So you have to set your mind to the desire in order to do that. Because a lot—it’s the same thing with losing weight. I always compare the two because it’s the same mindset, right? You wanna lose a few pounds, you have to focus on that, right? You gotta get on the scale, you gotta try on the jeans.
Like, you wanna make sure that when you lay on the bed, you don’t wanna lay on the bed to zip up your jeans anymore. You wanna be able to just put them on and zip them up, right? No deep breaths, holding your breath, right?
It’s the same thing with your money. So what you wanna do is set your mind to desire. What do I desire? How much more money do I need?
Because now, first of all, you have to see—well, where are you? Where are you right now in your finances? Are you doing pretty well? Are you in debt? Are you not in debt?
You know, how much do you need? What are your goals? Like, there’s so much to think about, right? Before you just start making more money, we need to have a plan, right? We wanna create a plan.
‘Cause how much do I need? And why? What’s important to me, right? What do I want? What’s important to me?
And then, what you were talking about before we started talking about communication is—money is one of those taboo subjects that no one wants to talk about, right? So we wanna start talking about it—a lot, all the time, right?
We don’t wanna keep money a secret anymore, right? Money is like—it’s not polite to talk about money. We don’t ask anyone how much they make.
Shh, right? No, don’t—no, no. No, don’t talk about it, right? No. But no!
Odiva Vasell (22:21):
One of the financial gurus that I follow, she went to someone’s house, and it was a beautiful house. And then she walked right up to the man of the house, and she said, “Hey, how much did you pay for this?”
Right? And everyone in the event was like shocked—“Oh my gosh, that’s so taboo!”
And she was so comfortable with speaking about money ’cause that’s what she does for a living. She trains people.
And I understand that when you talk about desire, that kind of comes up against some of the money blocks that we have because we’ve been trained to want money, or to give money.
As women, we’re supposed to give more, but we’re not supposed to want. And that could be cultural or even religious training.
So what you’re talking about here is actually admitting that you have desire. That’s a big step.
Eileen Joy: (23:17)
Yeah, it’s huge because you deserve it. Okay, think about this—all humans, humans are the only species on this planet that requires money to survive. Think about it. Birds don’t need money. Squirrels don’t need it. They’re just out there eating. Like, I’m looking out my window right now—there’s a squirrel eating an acorn. You know, they don’t have to buy their food. They don’t have to pay for a tree to live in.
We are the only species on this planet that requires money for our survival. This is no longer the caveman days, where we’re hitting animals over the head with a bat and dragging them back in. The women are hunting and gathering. You know, they’re hunting and gathering, right? We don’t do that anymore, right? We go to the supermarket to buy food, right? We go to the store to buy clothing. We go on Amazon to buy anything. And it’s like—we require money to survive. So yes, it’s important. It’s important for all people—men, women, children—all people.
Odiva Vasell: (24:25)
Right.
Eileen Joy: (24:26)
Okay, so we have to really internalize that and then understand the importance of—”You know what? Maybe I’m not getting paid enough.” Women, automatically, just being a woman, you get paid 80% less than men. So we’re getting paid 80 cents on the dollar on average. And then, by race, it changes even more, and it goes down and down and down and down.
It’s pathetic, and it’s awful, and it’s ridiculous. And I also want to stand on mountaintops about that because it is wrong, right? And then, especially single women—you get completely screwed in your taxes, right? All these other things that are so important that everyone’s ignoring and no one’s learning, ’cause no one’s teaching it.
And it’s so important to just become empowered with this information. It’s very overwhelming when you’re scared. If you’re sitting there listening right now, and you are so scared to even just hear about this, right? That step one is acknowledging that.
Feel in your body—when you have anxiety or if you’re nervous about something—where do you feel that in your body? For me, same. It’s all right here (points to chest). I feel like I’m gonna throw up. I get all—you know—and I start sweating in places I don’t want to talk about.
You know, and it’s like—that’s what you have to acknowledge. It’s not like, “Go take 20 bucks and put it in your savings account,” and then you’re like, “Well, now what?” You know, it’s really starting with your fear.
Odiva Vasell: (26:02)
Right.
Eileen Joy: (26:03)
Right. And understanding—when you’re about to make a large purchase, or any purchase for that matter—where do you feel it in your body? Start there, right? And then, you can start taking the next steps to actually maybe looking at your money.
Because a lot of people just won’t even look at their money because they’re so afraid of the truth, right? Well, maybe if I ignore it, it’ll go away. Maybe my debt will just suddenly vanish overnight, you know?
Odiva Vasell: (26:32)
Maybe if I look at it, I might jinx myself.
Eileen Joy: (26:35)
Right. And it’s like—it’s not going away. It’s never gonna get better. It’s gonna get worse before it gets better. But it’s your desire to at least acknowledge the fact that you’re afraid—that’s really step one before you even open your bank account.
And so, one thing that I do, which is so wonderful with all of my clients, and what you can do today if you’re listening—you can do this every morning—I do what’s called the Morning Money Minute. And all you do is look at your money for a minute.
Go in your bank account. Go in your credit card statements. Go everywhere—whatever investment accounts you have, 401(k) at work—go look at it for one minute and throw it some gratitude. So we’re gonna start reframing how you think about your money, right?
Instead of being mad at your money for leaving you, we’re gonna thank your purchases. Right? So what you wanna do is open up your banking app, or whatever, and—wherever you spend the most—start there. Right?
So if you’re using your checking account or your credit card or whatever you’re using to spend—to buy groceries, or pay the power bill in your house, or your water bill, or wherever that’s coming from—look at it. Scroll through and thank each purchase. Just say, “Thank you, my money. Thank you so much for paying my water bill, because now I have clean water. I am blessed because there are people around the world that don’t, right? And I am blessed to have the power on in my house so I can be on this Zoom today with you, Odiva. I’ve got internet. Thank you, my money, for paying my internet bill, right?”
“Thank you, my money, for letting me take my son out to dinner the other day. We had such a great time. We laughed and had such a wonderful meal. It was delicious, and we felt so good.”
And you know, it’s thinking about your money in that way instead of being afraid of it, right? That way, you’re also more aware of where your money’s going, right?
And if you’re looking at your money and you’re like, “What did I buy? What did I buy? What was that?”—’cause sometimes Amazon shows up, and it’s just a purchase, and you don’t even know what it was.
And then, “Thank you, Amazon, for—I don’t know?” And then you go look through, “What was that?” And it’s like—then you can just become more aware, and that can start to give you the desire to start making changes.
Does that make sense?
Odiva Vasell (29:12):
It makes a lot of sense. And what’s coming to me is—I’m thinking about the word “saving.” In society, sometimes women are shamed when they start spending and growing their income but also spending more.
How do you get a woman—I’m gonna start with the woman who’s at the baseline—and she only buys what she absolutely needs, and she never kind of gets into the flow of money and spends on things that she could enjoy, like you said, having that lovely dinner with your son?
How did you get out of that mindset of being just barely there, hiding it away in the cookie jars, never looking at what’s in the cookie jar? ‘Cause that’s what you’re suggesting—that’s revolutionary. You’ve got it here in the cookie jar; you’ve got it under the bed.
After we’ve done this Money Minute and we’ve looked at what we’ve had, how does she get away from being just at the basics, where she has always thought she belongs?
Eileen Joy (30:23):
Lots of people grow up with a money story. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of a money story before, but I will explain it really fast for people that might be listening who don’t know.
So, your money story starts from the time that you’re 0 to 7. When you are born through the age of 7, you are learning, right? You’re learning about who you are, how to be a human, how to walk, how to talk, how to live in the society that you live in, right? You’re being conditioned.
Wherever you are in the world, you’re learning your language—whatever language you speak, wherever you are in the world, right? You’re also learning about money. But no one’s really sitting down with you and saying, “Odiva, this is how you balance your checkbook,” right? That’s not happening. But what’s happening is that we’re learning about it from our parents, our environment, or our caregivers.
And we learn about it by listening, watching, experiencing, and feeling. And that’s why I always start with feeling. Because of your money story, you’re growing up with this feeling stuck inside your subconscious your whole life about money that you don’t even know how it got there.
And all your whole life, you’re like, “I just need enough money to get by,” and that’s your money story. So if you’re in that place, like what you’re describing, or if someone is just spending just enough—that’s their money story.
Their money story might be something similar to, “I only need enough money just to get by, but there is no more, so I can’t have it,” right? So when I work with my clients, we first dig deep into their money story.
What is your money story? Let’s rewrite that, right? We’re gonna rewrite your money story into the most abundant and wonderful money story that ever lived, right? But you have to start from where you are starting from.
And so, if you think about it—what was your first money memory as a child, right? You can start there. And even if you’re not sure, think about it. Think back, close your eyes, and think: “What was money like in my house?”
That’s why people think that way—because it’s something that’s just stuck in their subconscious. They’ve been living with it forever.
And now that you can’t unhear this, it’s brought to your consciousness, and now you’re not gonna stop thinking about it—which is really good, because you need to. You need to tackle this to be able to allow yourself some fun money.
Odiva Vasell (33:01):
Awesome.
Eileen Joy (33:02):
Right. Yeah, and so when we finally get to the part where you’re not afraid of money anymore, we can do a budget for you. We can create a spending plan, an investment plan, and a giving plan. And then, being able to show you how to teach your kids how to do this too, right?
That’s when we say, “Okay, we’re gonna rewrite your story.” We’re gonna throw a whole bunch of fun money into your budget.
Like, I have a whole bunch of fun money in mine. I have a line—it’s called “guilt-free fun spending”—and I put money in there every single month.
And so, I always have money. So if I wanna buy something, it could be for anything I want.
Odiva Vasell (33:44):
Can you say it again? What was that called?
Eileen Joy (33:46):
Guilt-Free Fund Spending.
Odiva Vasell (33:48):
Guilt-Free Fund Spending.
Eileen Joy (33:49):
Guilt-free. ‘Cause I always felt—’cause my—you can call it whatever you want, but for me, I quoted it that because I always had the feelings of guilt, right? I always had the feelings that if I spent money on myself, I felt guilty afterward. So that’s why I call it Guilt-Free Fund Spending.
But if you think about it, what are your fears, and what are those feelings that you feel when you’re spending money? And what are the feelings that you feel when you’re spending money on yourself? And then, later on, you feel guilty, or you feel bad, or you’re angry, or whatever the feelings that come up. Or maybe you get yelled at by a spouse, right? Like, what is it?
Right, it could be FU money for all you—whatever you wanna call it. You know, it’s just whatever makes you feel good, right? ‘Cause money is supposed to be there to keep you safe and secure and make you feel good. We use our money to fund our dreams, but if we’re only thinking from our subconscious, I only need enough just to get by, you’ll never let yourself dream. You’ll never let yourself get there. You’ll never allow yourself to feel anything but angry, upset, guilty, or whatever you’re feeling when you spend money on yourself.
So even when it comes time to, you know, working with coaches or hiring someone to maybe clean your house, you know, it’s like you won’t allow yourself. Going to get a massage—moms need massages! It’s those things that you’re not allowing yourself to have because, in your subconscious, you don’t deserve it.
Odiva Vasell (35:14):
Exactly. And that’s one of the messages that keeps coming back. As I understand the money mindset, it’s deeply tied into your self-worth.
Eileen Joy (35:25):
Yes.
Odiva Vasell (35:26):
To whatever that message you were given as a child—it kind of grows this ugly tree, hairy growth. You kind of need to chop it down and pull it out from the roots. That you are worthy of this. You can spend, but you can do it in a responsible way.
And this is a beautiful tip with this fun—fun money. I can’t remember the title again. What was it?
Eileen Joy (35:53):
Guilt-Free Fund Spending.
Odiva Vasell (35:55):
Guilt-Free Fund Spending. Fund?
Eileen Joy (35:59):
Yeah, like even if you just wanna grab an envelope, right? A paper, real envelope, and write on the envelope Guilt-Free Fund Spending. Then, go to the ATM and take out some cash every time you get paid—20 bucks, whatever it is—and put it in the envelope, right? Let yourself accumulate some money in that envelope so that you can have some fun.
Right, start out with a little dollar amount and then work your way up for your comfort level. We wanna stretch—we don’t wanna stay in our comfort zone. We wanna be in the stretch zone or stretch a little bit, right? So, a little bit to start with, right?
Or maybe you have a little extra—you want to put 100 bucks, whatever it is, right? Every month, just put a little bit in that envelope and let yourself start spending it. Go buy yourself a new blouse or something.
Odiva Vasell (36:55):
Yeah, I like that. You know what you said—the paper envelope—that might not be comfortable for everybody. But I remember when I was living in Europe, and I was getting paid and spending, and I didn’t quite understand what the euro was, even if I was living and working there.
And then one day, I said, “You know what? Let me just try doing everything with cash.”
I did that for several months, and that allowed me a bit of freedom to actually see what was coming in and what was going out. It was harder because sometimes you just want to purchase something that, as you said, you don’t really need at that moment because it’s going on the card.
But having that cash flow—really physical cash flow—was such a brilliant and empowering move that I tried. And I might try that here again in the U.S., even though so many places are just waving that thing at me and saying, “Hey, stick your card in here.”
Teaching Kids About Money in a Cashless Society
Eileen Joy (37:53):
Yeah, it’s a little harder now after COVID because most merchants aren’t even taking cash.
So what I also can recommend, if that’s the case, is you can get yourself a Visa or Mastercard gift card and just put money on the gift card. Use that gift card for yourself—only for its intended purpose of Guilt-Free Fund Spending, or groceries, or whatever—fill in the blank.
That’s another way. You can get these little gift cards and put little post-its on them, you know, and write what it’s for. If you want to do something like that, just get one for your Guilt-Free Fund Spending. Put $20, $20, $20—or whatever amount you want on there.
It’s not the same as cash because you’re right—feeling it, smelling it, being able to count it, all of those things. Especially with kids, teaching kids about money these days is so different from when we grew up because there’s no real physical cash being circulated so much anymore. Everything is air—it’s just air. There’s nothing there.
It’s just a plastic card they get to swipe, you know? So I give my son both. When I give him his allowance, I give him digital money, and I give him physical money. I give him coins.
I even had him build his own coin bank. We went to Home Depot, found a kit for kids to make their own coin bank, brought it home, and used a hammer, nails, and paint. He still uses it—he’s 12.
So when I give him money, he puts money in the coin bank. I also got him a really awesome wallet for his cash and to hold his debit card and all of these things.
And it’s amazing, right? And then bringing in the communication—my son and I talk about money like it’s the weather. It’s just another conversation. There are no weird feelings when we talk about money because I’ve made it normal.
We normalize the talk of money at home. We start at home.
We can tell our kids, “You’re not going to go tell your friends how much money Mommy and Daddy make,” right? You know, because we’re not there yet. Society isn’t there yet.
Odiva Vasell (40:11):
Privacy.
Eileen Joy (40:12):
Right. At home, we can talk about anything. This is an open-talking policy here, right?
We can talk about anything about money, and it’s just about becoming comfortable with that.
And also, admitting to your kids—it doesn’t matter what age they are—I think we should all learn about money together. It’ll be fun!
You can admit to your kids, “I didn’t learn about this in school, and neither are you. Let’s start learning about it together.”
That’s why I created Money School for Moms. It’s so important.
Odiva Vasell (40:45):
It is, Eileen. And on that note, that’s a whole session!
I’m going to have to bring you back for that because you’ve opened up this key part—having the kids be a part of it. Not just giving them the money and saying, “Okay, save it” or “Go over and spend it somewhere,” but actually having these daily conversations.
Now, this is rare in households—with the husband, with the kids, with family members. They might not be ready for that.
But just having daily money conversations like it’s the weather, with no shame involved—that is huge.
So I definitely am going to bring you back to talk about how to open up that conversation.
But—
Eileen Joy (41:33):
I’d love that.
Odiva Vasell (41:34):
Thank you so much today for the tips. Your passion for this topic is incredible, and I think you’re really going to motivate a lot of people to start stepping toward a better money mindset and managing this thing that is such an important part of their lives.
Thank you so much, Eileen.
[Music]
Conclusion
At the end of the day, money is just a tool—it’s how we use it that makes the difference. Trying simple habits like using cash, setting aside guilt-free spending, or having open talks with your kids about money can make a big impact. The more comfortable we get with managing our finances, the more freedom and peace of mind we create. It’s not about being perfect, just about being intentional. Start small, stay consistent, and watch how your mindset (and your money) begins to shift.